...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
