I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
