Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
