just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
