I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
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i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
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GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.