WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Come see our sink grown plant.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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