i think i have herpe
just one?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
