yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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