How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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