Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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