There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone