Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
