with your own penis?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.