FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.