i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
