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that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
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