I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.