Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.

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  (805): I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose. http://tfl.nu/niu3
  Replies (23) Good night (875) Bad night (2794)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy

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  (352): I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy http://tfl.nu/uxjr
  Replies (18) Good night (4226) Bad night (702)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.

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  (203): 'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/k9vf
  Replies (15) Good night (766) Bad night (3665)
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  (516): View more from New York

  she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?

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  (516): she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe? http://tfl.nu/rh9d
  Replies (25) Good night (1219) Bad night (4794)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.

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  (239): My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God. http://tfl.nu/tpwi
  Replies (13) Good night (1473) Bad night (4451)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games

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  (630): Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games http://tfl.nu/dec3
  Replies (10) Good night (4334) Bad night (645)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning

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  (937): I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning http://tfl.nu/bu5f
  Replies (22) Good night (1230) Bad night (5863)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata

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  (313): Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata http://tfl.nu/0yl6
  Replies (5) Good night (2375) Bad night (695)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.

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  (815): I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn. http://tfl.nu/iw95
  Replies (1) Good night (1626) Bad night (733)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?

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  (765): is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible? http://tfl.nu/u49w
  Replies (14) Good night (631) Bad night (2151)
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.

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  (848): Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired. http://tfl.nu/ghfv
  Replies (8) Good night (2344) Bad night (603)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.

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  (609): Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel. http://tfl.nu/x8kg
  Replies (24) Good night (1036) Bad night (467)
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  (818): View more from California

  Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.

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  (818): Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree. http://tfl.nu/znv5
  Replies (2) Good night (475) Bad night (832)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?

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  (727): If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student? http://tfl.nu/6ss9
  Replies (2) Good night (665) Bad night (285)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache

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  (773): He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache http://tfl.nu/46b1
  Replies (12) Good night (174) Bad night (1312)

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