I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.