Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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