Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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