you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
