just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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