Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alive.
So much puke
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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