Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
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The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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