Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
