can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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