I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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