Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
hell yes lets make some ravioli
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
