I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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