I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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