and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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