i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Actions speak louder than pants.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
