She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
