if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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