i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
