I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
