You're my little dorito
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Dick very happy bro
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
