you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
