Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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