How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
