Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
