Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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