I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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