so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
