That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize