There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
