she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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