The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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