They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
