I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
