are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
