You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
