How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
