Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
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