I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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