Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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