haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
