I am puke
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
