I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
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