I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
