I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
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its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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