Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
