Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
