By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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