why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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