went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
